There’s something quietly magical about the little routines that carry us through the day - the first sip of coffee, the moment you step outside and breathe in the morning air, putting on jewellery in the same order every morning. They don’t look extraordinary, but these rituals are the anchors that give rhythm and meaning to our lives.
But what is it about rituals that gives such quiet comfort, even when they look so utterly unspectacular?
The baseline of our lives: Contentment
The answer is that it is so human to crave stability, to know what to expect (even those of us who chase adrenaline boosts!). Routine gives comfort, after all. It is hard enough in this day and age to know what to choose when confronted with pretty much any object at the tip of our fingers, often with next-day delivery so we don’t even have to wait. These buzzes are little sparks for the brain, over and over, on our phones, in the supermarket, in the workplace. But what then is the baseline, if these are the moments when the needle pings up? What then is the state of content when compared to those highs?
It’s what’s left, of course, when we take those peaks away, together with the troughs that might happen due to the absence of those highs. It is the steady line of our lives, content, not ecstatic, at peace, not flying high. And the more we can stabilise this line and lift it to a level we’re, well, content with, the more settled we can feel.
Which brings us back to the ordinary moments and the trust in the effect they have.
That first sip of coffee, the feet up with a glass of wine, a cosy fire in the wood burner, those spring days where we don't wear a big coat - all these moments run on the baseline and can help us reach it if we’re not quite there. They are not major highs, they don’t happen once and are gone. They are there, waiting, grounding us when we need them. We can trust that they will make us feel a certain way, they are the part of our lives that calms us. After a stressful day, it might seem impossible to process and wind down, however the reliable comfort of those ordinary yet magical moments almost guarantees our nervous system to feel safe, leave the fight or flight mode and begin relaxation.
Anchors for the feeling of being at peace
Often, these moments are connected to particular places, be it a city, a home, or a sofa. As a consequence, finding those moments when we are not right there where we usually (routinely!) experience them can be harder. Maybe we are travelling, maybe we are out of town for work, maybe we are trying the new route home, maybe we just moved house and have not yet been able to establish the baseline.
The senses are not used to the surroundings, and having that cup of coffee might just not feel quite the same.
In cases like this, I love having objects with me that can step in and bridge this gap, and give me the grounding that the place itself can’t give.
Jewellery as a grounding practice
Any object can carry meaning: an old toy reminding us of the safety of home, a favourite pen not only as a companion but a fiddle toy, too.
Of course, as a silversmith, I love the fact that jewellery is perfect to take on this role: When wearing it, it is right here, one with our body, which means I can touch the ring, the necklace, whatever it is, throughout the day to keep the connection going.
This makes them a lot less fleeting than other senses, for example tasting the coffee, listening to the crunch of leaves, seeing a smile. The touch is repeatable at almost any moment, it doesn’t draw attention and yet the spark can be felt. In the morning when putting my earrings on, in the meeting that is prone to stress me out, on the commute when I just want to be in a calm place, with that glass of wine in front of the wood burner, when taking them off and storing them in the same spot every night before bed.
Wedding rings of course are a very common example: they are there to remind us of our partner, of the wedding day, the exchange of vows, the life we’ve built. They are a symbol for the never-ending love, and chances are, they are part of a routine of either never taking it off, or taking it off regularly and replacing it afterwards.
However, we don’t need wedding rings to take on all this work, especially if the point is to make a habit and moment just for us. A necklace that has been with me in those content times, a ring that reminds me of the (extra-)ordinary moments of calm, earrings that I treated myself to for an achievement that I want to last - whenever I put any of these pieces of jewellery on, I am reminded. Jewellery, be it embellished talismans or pieces that look ordinary to anyone else, can carry the load and be a personification of moments and peace.
Now it's your turn: What are your pieces of jewellery that carry meaning? Why? Can you incorporate that feeling of grounding and reality that you feel when attaching this meaning in your everyday life?
