Gosh, haven’t we all been there: We sit in a cafe, sipping our Latte, nibbling on the biscuit that came with it, and all of a sudden we see her. We don’t know her, but we want to know her. We want to become best friends. Why? So that she please, please share her secrets with us, the ones that explain how she looks so, well, stylish. So effortlessly not copying anyone or anything, just being herself with the use of clothes and accessories. Just this aura of awesomeness, of being herself. Confidently.
Some people just seem to be blessed with style, don’t they? Well. Let me tell you a little secret: They’re not blessed. I mean, maybe they are, but style is something that needs no blessing: It needs conscious and consistent decisions, which needs some effort until it becomes second nature - and until your wardrobe is up to the task (spoilers: it probably is already). What style doesn’t need it *this* trending dress, or *that* seasonal bag. Style isn’t built by accumulation, it’s built by repetition and consistency.
Style isn’t built by accumulation, it’s built by repetition and consistency.
And so be it: Style equals confidence plus consistency. Easy peasy, right? Well, no. Because that doesn’t help practically. So here are some the things I’ve learned finding my own style:
1. Look at others
Close your eyes. Think of someone you find stylish. That co-worker, your friend’s mum, the lady who always walks her dog at 9am past your window. Now think: What is the one (two, three) thing(s) you notice, if you had to name just those. From memory. What do they so repeatedly wear that you can now name it? What makes them interesting? What is different? Is it the use of colour? Of no colour? Is it big accessories? Quirky glasses? A different flowery skirt every day? Maximalism? Minimalism?
What this 'looking to define' does is help bring words to visuals. If I think of this one really stylish co-worker I used to have, I think of shaggy hair, block colours, and loafers. The essence of that specific style. Something that makes it recognisable. And as a side-note: if you are drawn to it, it might be worth experimenting in that direction. Because so many people are extremely stylish, but your thoughts went to this one person first. A clear sign!
2. Look at what you have
The next step it’s looking at what you already have. What works for you. Look at your wardrobe, your jewellery box, your shoes. What makes you feel the way you want to feel? A big part of which is: What makes you comfortable yet confident? What gives you maybe a little bit of swagger? If you had to pick just one, which outfit makes you feel taller (figuratively)? Is it those high-wasted trousers with the loafers? Is it big golden hoops over a black roll neck? Is it that dress with the swoosh that feels just right on you? Is it the five or 8 necklaces and double hoops on each ear? And if there are multiple outfits or pieces: Is there a theme? Like block colours and loafers? Flowery skirts? Is it mixing patterns?
Nothing is too special to be worn. Go for it. Wear it.
Looking at what we have already is really important. Style, your style, isn’t born from nothing. It’s there. You just need to start emphasising it and appreciating how clothes and jewellery make you feel, and making use of that feeling. It can be individual items which are worth combining, or already established duos or trios that you can layer on. An important point here is: Nothing is too special to be worn. There’s of course clothing for certain occasions, however if that jumper was expensive and you don’t wear it because of that, surely you don’t get your money’s worth at all? Go for it. Wear it. The foundation is there without having to start from scratch, I'm certain of it.
I’m not saying to not ever buy anything new. I’m saying stop buying random pieces that don’t give you that feeling of consistency and swagger.
I’m not saying to not ever buy anything new. I’m saying stop buying random pieces.
3. Make decisions and play to your strengths - and repeat, repeat, repeat
As mentioned, style comes from consistency. Make a decision and stick to it, and then repeat what feels good. What do I mean?
Well, in my case as a jewellery maker, I stick with metal jewellery. I don’t mix brass with polymer clay or wood jewellery. I give one consistent message. I feel great when I wear high waisted trousers (smart), a front-printed t-shirt (casual) and hoop earrings (pirate - just joking, casual smart I’d say). To make it feel smarter for meetings, I have a black kimono blazer that goes with everything and when I wear that, I feel like I’m 3 inches taller. Add my rings and I’m untouchable. My whole wardrobe reflects this choice, though I'm myself still in the process of eliminating anything that doesn't make me feel that way.
I have a friend whose thing is natural textures and organic patterns. When I think of her, I see those instantly. For her, I know she feels the equivalent of what I feel in trousers and print shirt, that I treasure and that makes me confident. And that’s the style I want to portray.
So what are you waiting for...
To sum it up, I believe you can narrow down your style by 1. vocalising what you find stylish in others, 2. having a look at what you have that makes you feel confident, and 3. wearing it by making a conscious decision - and repeating it.
Of course, this needs practice. It needs the right pieces. It needs routine. It needs those pieces that make you feel good - and you’d be surprised how often those pieces aren’t even the clothes but the accessories. Those drop earrings add an elegance, those chunky rings make it a statement, these necklaces, layered, add dimension and just give you that little tug up the corners of your mouth, that quiet confidence.
Again: I don't say stop buying things, I say buy the right things. Once you look at yourself and your wardrobe with this angle, you will be knowing exactly what to add, and how to play to your strengths - and others will look at you and want to be your best friend, just so you spill your secrets.
To spill mine, here are some pieces that some of my most stylish customers gravitate towards. All of them are amazing staples to have if you build a casual smart style.
